How To Win Over People? Obedience Is The Key!

It was the morning rush to get to work on time and breakfast was not yet ready. My wife informed me that she would come up with something for me, but I told her to cancel breakfast and instead get me a cup of tea and that I would catch up with breakfast in the office pantry. My wife had her own ideas and went ahead and cooked breakfast for me, but this took time and meant that if I ate the breakfast I would be late for work, and also because she spent time cooking breakfast first and then made me the cup of tea I had asked for even the tea was late and if I had to drink only the piping hot tea even then I would be late for work. The only option to reach office on time was to leave right then without the tea I had asked for and the breakfast that my wife insisted on making even though I had specifically asked that it be skipped for today.

The situation I was caught in riled me no end and I was simmering under my skin, but the Holy Spirit gave me self-control and helped me calm down. I instead ended up thinking how much I was blessed with such a wonderful wife who took such wonderful care of me. I decided to have both the breakfast and the tea and go late to work. On the way to work I began to go over the events and began to think. Even though my wife meant for my good still it upset me no end and the Holy Spirit began to speak to me from the 1 Samuel 15th Chapter. In this book God instructed Samuel to direct King Saul to absolutely destroy the nation of Amalek. In fact the instructions from 1 Samuel 15:3 were “Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them. But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.” King Saul and the army of Israel attacked Amalek, but in 1 Samuel 15:9 we learn “But Saul and the people spared Agag (king of the Amalekites) and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were unwilling to utterly destroy them. But everything despised and worthless, that they utterly destroyed.” In fact King Saul meant this for good as we learn in 1 Samuel 15:15 And Saul said, “They have brought them from the Amalekites; for the people spared the best of the sheep and the oxen, to sacrifice to the LORD your God; and the rest we have utterly destroyed.” Again in 1 Samuel 15:21 “But the people took of the plunder, sheep and oxen, the best of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice to the LORD your God in Gilgal.” As you can see King Saul did mean good from this and wanted to sacrifice all to the Lord!

However, and this is a BIG HOWEVER if we can grasp and understand what this really means it will lead us a long way in building great and healthy relationships with everyone and in fact winning people over!!! However, Samuel’s response from 1 Samuel 15:22-23 So Samuel said:

“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
As in obeying the voice of the LORD?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
And to heed than the fat of rams.

For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
He also has rejected you from being king.”

We see here that King Saul’s disobedience even though he meant it for good cost him being King of Israel. What we learn from this is if we don’t listen to instructions completely and end up doing something else even if it’s more than asked for it will still not benefit us.

People like to be heard! We like it when we ask something and it’s done and obviously we don’t like it when it’s not done. It does not matter if something very good is done and something more than we asked for is done. As long as what we ask for is not done then it displeases us. Think of it! If our boss gives us instructions then at the end of the day he only wants to know if it was followed or not. He does not care what else we did. A good point to note here is people will appreciate it if we do more than asked for provided what they asked for has also been done. If it has not been done then all other work including doing something very good will still not be appreciated. Personally as far back as I can remember I have always been appreciated in every field when I completed the tasks assigned to me and even received additional commendation when I did more than asked for provided I also completed the assigned tasks. Obviously I have also had it when I did not complete the assigned tasks and no excuse has helped at such times including the excuse I did this even if what I had done was very good and more than expected of me. As long as I did not do what was asked of me I inevitably ended up hearing for it.

This is so true throughout life! Right from childhood we get to hear from our parents, elder siblings, grandparents and older relatives for not following instructions. The same goes for school with teachers and at our workplace with our boss and other superiors at work. In fact this is so true for every area of our life. Similarly the opposite is also true wherein we are appreciated for following instructions in every area of our life.

The lesson to be learned here is very simple, but an all important one. To have great relationships and to be appreciated and to win people over always it is important that we follow instructions to a T and do what is expected of us always. To not do what is expected of us and hold up an excuse that I did something better will never work in our favor. People get mad, angry, riled up and generally sour when they don’t get what they ask or expect. Even kids do this. This is true of even us. You will always win people over and have great relationships if you do immediately and completely what is asked and expected of you. There is no way around this all important truth and I hope we all practice it with immediate effect from right now!